By Ayesha-Andrea Apedoe
Have you wondered why year after year you are bombarded with Mother’s Day Cards and best wishes, yet, you have never had the privilege to have children of your own? You must be doing something right! Not having children does not mean giving up on motherhood.
Motherhood is not only a biological fact but moves higher onto a spiritual maternity. Hundreds of people are desperately looking for mothers and it will be prudent for the woman to avail herself to listen, care and love all those seeking her counsel and company.
It is not a matter of either having a biological or legally adopted children or simply being childless but a mother is the very essence of femininity. This means all women are mothers!
It is imperative of the Christian woman to heed to the calling of being a spiritual mother regardless of age, state of life or vocation and as she receives special grace and wisdom, her role is to mentor and provide proper example to younger women whom God has assigned them. She is to impart Christian character, domestic responsibility and teach them to lead Christ-centered lives. This role is also open to all Catholic women, especially the Nuns, who can nurture Priests and Leaders through spiritual direction.
All women must celebrate the fact that they are indeed a source of life to the world. They possess the ability to nurture others and if they free themselves to do so, they will be amazed at how fertile they actually are! It is all about nurturing, which is a wonderful gift God has blessed every woman with.
As a Teacher without a child of your own, some of your students could be your spiritual children and if the desire to parent is so strong, ask God to send you more spiritual children. It might well be that in your beautiful desire to be a biological mother, you have overlooked cases where you could have been a spiritual mother
Many women who have never been mothers physically, nevertheless, brim with the ability and passion to nurture others. All women are therefore encouraged to pour out their lives in deeds of service to those in need, such as victims of abuse, orphans, widows, the elderly, the homeless, the hungry and the afflicted. In some situations, your task is just to listen and in trying to help out, you make your own pain or suffering lighter.
The Lord wants women to be fruitful for the purpose of advancing and expanding His family. This point of motherhood is to bring forth and nurture children in the faith.
To the woman with her own children, she should not feel any guilt about choosing to abandon her professional career in order to look after her children. Working mothers do not need to feel guilty either because any guilt that working or stay-at-home mothers have is a result of a society that constantly peddles the belief that mothers have it all.
Our society needs to start respecting women who stay at home with their children and appreciate that a woman’s contribution to society is not necessarily, immediately financially assessable. Stay-at-home does not mean doing nothing – it could involve looking after the house, being a Teacher, or helping the PTA of a School. This is fulfilling as any job though most of it is not paid. Women engaged in this noble work must therefore consider themselves lucky and guilt-free.
Career success is important and necessary but that is not the whole picture. A mother should find fulfillment in raising children to be creative and live joyfully rather than simply working to survive. A full life includes laughter, play and love. I daresay a mother could still be deliriously happy if her children make four percent less money than their peers but are not plagued with depression and stress. To have only a career and barely have enough energy to see your child is not the best choice.
A working mother is one who is able to balance her work, enjoys the stimulation that a job or career provides yet develops the ability of raising a useful member of society. Children may be small but they change your world in the most rewarding ways. The best way to extend your legacy is through your children who are really, your best disciples.
In our various churches, we may encounter women, dealing with prolonged, unwanted singleness whilst others are walking through infertility and miscarriages. As we walk with them in their pain, may a hand of partnership be extended to them constantly in making the world a better place.
