By Dr. John Boakye
Life is a continuous process but to make our studies of life easier, we arbitrarily group life into stages with physical, mental and social characteristics. For we have infancy (1-5}, childhood (6-11) adolescence (12-17) and after that adulthood which is further sub-divided into mid-life (35-54) young old (55-65), middle old (65-75) and old-old (over 75). Old age is seen as the later part of life. There is no general definition of old age. Therefore you are as old as you feel but the United Nations have set 60 plus as old age.
Marriage is a basic human right to be expressed freely by the individual. In Ghana, the legal age of marriage is 18 with no limit put on it. People therefore marry at different stages of their adult life. Today many are marrying later in life; age of first marriage in Canada is 31 for men and 29 for women. In the US, it is 29 for men and 27 for women and according to the Ghana Demographic and Health Survey 2014, while the first age of marriage for women is 20.7, before age 15, about eight percent of them had already married and by age 18, another 29 percent had also married In Ghana and everywhere some marry during old age.
Why marry during old age?
Some marry late because they put many other life ambitions like degrees, skill improvement, promotion and physical acquisitions like cars, money and houses ahead and marriage at the end of their life goals. Some search for unrealistic goals and ideal partners. Some are selfish and get into cohabitation – they get everything in marriage without marrying and don’t worry about buying a cow when they can get free milk!
The most important reasons for marriage are companionship (Gen. 2;18) and support. (Eccl ;’9,12). These needs become especially important as we age and have fewer friends, greater loneliness and are less energetic to perform basic needs. Akans say Ewiase yetena no baanu baanu’ or we live in pairs. A spouse will share quality time with you.
Some marry after loss of spouse through annulment or death. In Ghana, marriage is a big social symbol and adulst who are single do not earn much respect. In fact sugyani the Akan word for bachelor means one who fetches water to cook- something reserved traditionally for women. Therefore sugyani is a title many men try to avoid.
Studies also show that at old age you have higher self-esteem, greater emotional stability and more positive outlook of life. You have clearer sense of self-contentment and experience to know what you can do and what you want. You are more patient and handle conflicts better than younger partners.
The challenges of marrying at old age
At old age most people have at least one chronic medical problem. Most have loss of memory, sensation mobility and appetite. The biological functions including sex drive slows down. The heart is unable to pump much blood. Eyesight and hearing may diminish. You may get tired more quickly and take longer time to rest.
Most old people are poor and spend a lot on medication. They are usually isolated from younger family members and may be lonely and bored. They prefer to stay at home to watch old TV shows.
Some children protest the marriage of their old fathers. When children lose a parent through death or divorce they form an emotional bond with the surviving parent. Anyone coming in is seen as a potential danger to the bond and fear loss of properties, rights and closeness.
