THE INDISPENSABLE

By Ayesha-Andrea Apedoe “A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day.” (Proverbs 27:15) Nothing can be more miserable than having to spend every day of your life with a raving woman. The first duty that a good wife must fulfill is to help her man, the more reason God made someone come alongside Adam, to work and accomplish His divine goal. For a woman to see a strong marriage and family, she is to be the counterpart of her mate and not just an extra on the side but an indispensable part of God’s divine plan. So the question is, what does a helper look like? The assumption is, if God expects you to help your man, then the understanding is that your man needs help! We were made to complete men and not to break them. Many ladies have a low opinion of themselves, making them weak but in viewing themselves as priceless diamonds as they are in God’s eyes, they become real women. The Bible says when men find these kind of women, true and authentic wives, they have valuable pieces of jewelry (Proverbs 31) For the 21st Century woman, be it the stay-at-home mom or the Corporate woman, she is required to be God-fearing and also be the glue that holds the family together. To avoid low productivity, she is expected to be skilled, save money, use and spend money wisely and not have the notion of a so-called modern day woman building her own career with her own money, with her own bank account and writing her own cheques. An epitome of a Godly wife is one using those skills for the embellishment of the home and the enhancement of her husband and children. The moment she begins to live her married life with no thought of the betterment of her husband, she joins the adversary in dissolving her marriage. It is worth noting that God did not give us husbands for us to still be independent, single women but destined for us to be their partners, helping them with our gifts, skills and abilities. We must therefore beware of careers that negate our duties as wives and mothers. Another role of a wife is to partner her husband in raising physically and spiritually healthy children. Here, she plays a pivotal role, one that requires the gift of mediation to help facilitate good communication and goodwill between father and children. This is why older women teach the younger ones to be sober, lovers of their husbands and children, discreet, chaste, keepers of the home, good and obedient to their husbands. (Titus 2:4-5). To be a woman of beauty is also part of the deal here. ‘She makes for her husband, clothes of double texture and garments for herself of fine linen and scarlet.” (Proverbs 31:22). In her bid to exhibit her outer beauty, she must not lose sight of her Christ-like attributes and the fruit of the Spirit that emanates from both natural and spiritual beauty. This virtuous woman also possesses love, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, meekness and faith that benefits her community. This way, her compassion drives all and sundry to live in hope. For a wife to revere her husband is worth mentioning. She is to submit to her man, which means, she recognizes him as the leader of the family as God has called him to be. Men must realise they have not been called to a position as head over the household to be dictators and irresponsible but to give guidance and directions from a good heart. A wife’s duty is to willingly place her strength under the authority of her husband, to follow him as he follows Christ. Thus, she submits to God by submitting to her husband. It is indeed, sad for a wife to attend church every week, read the Bible every day, have devotions every morning, attend Bible study on Mondays and still be out of God’s will because she fails to recognize the position of her husband as the head. To the modern day woman, be not afraid to dote over your spouse or give everything to your marriage, for there are only two people who should define the proper roles of husband and wife in your household: you and your husband!