By Dr. John Boakye
A father is a leader and an anchor man of his family. He stabilises and builds his family as he provides, directs, organises, inspires and influences the activities of the family. A Ghanaian Professor says ‘leadership is cause, everything else is effect’. No wonder the Good Book mentions father over 1000 times. For example in Jer..31:29, we read “the fathers have eaten sour grapes and the children’s teeth are set on edge”. This shows the power of fathers as the primary authority of the family. The Catholic Church also teaches that the father is the representative of God in the family. If everyone needs Christ then everybody has the basic human right to a father.
Many studies confirm that the impact of fathers on children could be greater than mothers. For example, research shows that if a father gets involved in the upbringing of his children from birth to the formative years the children grow up to be more secure, confident and have higher output. A father’s attitude and role are therefore the most important determinant of the health of a family. Good fathers make good families, strong Churches and strong societies.
Fatherhood is so important that God chose an earthly father for His only son, Jesus Christ. This means we are fortunate to have Joseph, the foster father of Jesus as our model of fatherhood. In fact, Pope John Paul II, in his Angelus Message on March 17, 2002, stated that Jesus is a model of fatherhood.
Jesus as a model of fatherhood
Joseph loved Mary and Jesus. By Jewish custom, Joseph and Mary were truly married and could only separate by divorce. Joseph showed his love for Mary by refusing to expose her to public shame as could have happened to a woman who became pregnant when her husband did not ‘know’ her. He demonstrated the stand of the Church on the inadmissibility of marriage. Joseph also protected Mary and Jesus from Herod. He excelled in the task of raising Jesus to grow in stature, wisdom and the fear of God and man. (Lk. 2:52)
Joseph showed great self-control and self-discipline. He was chaste according to his married state of life and honoured the virginity of Mary without complaints, argument or rancor. Jesus therefore teaches the importance of fidelity and the fact that couples can express the love in other ways than sexual relationships and live happily as couples.
Joseph showed fatherhood is not about biology. He was not the biological father of Jesus but loved him dearly and made all the necessary sacrifices to make Jesus useful to Himself and humanity. Joseph therefore teaches that fatherhood in not about biology but about love and care. Therefore, any man- brother, cousin, uncle, grandfather, who shows love and care to uplift human dignity is a true father. It is also a fact that without mothers and children there can be no fathers. Joseph therefore reminds us to celebrate fatherhood and humanity because anything celebrated grows in health.
Joseph led a quiet, humble and fruitful life. It is interesting to note that the Good Book does not record a single word of what Joseph said but only what he did. He worked as a carpenter to provide for his family. He protected his family against Herod. Joseph therefore teaches that fathers must work hard to provide for their family and against agents like selfishness, intolerance, dishonesty, criticism, and poor communication that attempt to break up marriages and families.
Fathers must provide physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs of their family. Teach your children ethics especially sex education which is the primary responsibility of parents. Teach your children the right things before others and the media teach them the wrong things. Records show that in 2017 alone there were 16,000 and 10,000 teenage pregnancies in Ashanti and Upper West regions alone and many wonder what the fathers are not doing right.
Make time for your children because time together is the best bonding agent. It gives you the opportunity to know your children and guide their developments. If you get too busy chasing worth at the cost of taking care of your children, in the end you harm your children irreparably and whatever you gain may not count. Therefore make time to invest in your children. Set good examples. Be encouraging, firm and consistent leave them a legacy which may be physical, emotional and spiritual.
Joseph and Mary worked as a team. They travelled to Egypt together. Together, they went looking for Jesus when He got missing. Joseph shows us that parenting is a team work because both father and mother have unique ways of helping their children grow holistically. Fathers must therefore avoid the danger of leaving parenting only to wives because it may draw you away from your children. Make mutual decisions with your wife and work together to take good care of your children.
Joseph loved God. Mat. 1;19 described Joseph as just which means one who prays honestly by faith and seeks to do good in every endeavour of life. He was prudent, patient and a faithful man who gave himself completely to God.
As a father you are co-creator with God, a Priest and Prophet in your family. Lead in the spiritual development of your family in prayer, worship knowing the faith, living it and sharing it. This begins with your personal spirituality as exemplary leader and representative of God in your family.
Joseph, model of fatherhood.
Children are precious gifts and treasures of God. God makes fathers steward over your children. Pope Francis says ‘the Lord judges our life according to what the angels of your children who always behold his face tell Him’. Therefore if you desire a good report and blessing, see your children as treasures; love and value them. Fortunately, Joseph has given us the light in the great vocation of fatherhood. In the litany of St Joseph we say St. Joseph, head of the family, pray for us. Say this simple prayer each day. Happy father’s day!
