By Dr. John Boakye
A nuclear family is a unit consisting of a father, mother and their children. Catholic families in addition have some ‘marks’; they pray and worship together. They are called to intimacy and put the family first. They are witnesses and signs of God’s love. Pope St. John Paul II sees the family as a sanctuary, a place where life is nurtured and protected. The family is therefore the greatest gift of God and a blessing to humanity. However, when God gives us a gift, He also gives us a responsibility.
Leadership in the family
Our God is a God of order and gives us order for the family. Christ is the head of every Catholic family and the Father is under Christ. Simply put, the Father is the Chief Executive Officer of the family to direct, influence, provide, protect, organize and influence the activities in the family. The role of the father is therefore the most important determinant of the health of a Catholic family because as a Ghanaian Professor puts it, leadership is cause, everything else is effect. The Akans also say that if you cut the head of a snake what is left is a harmless rope.
The role of the father
Provides spiritual needs. St. Augustine calls fathers fellow ‘Bishop’. Your greatest role is to ensure the salvation of the children God puts into your care. Pray without ceasing for your children (Lam. 2:19) for their protection and sanctification. Read the Bible and pray with them as soon as they learn to speak. Go to Mass with your children. Studies show that if a father goes to Mass with his children, 75 percent of them will continue in the Catholic faith as compared to 15 percent of their mothers.
Provides physical needs. You must be the bread winner of the home. Work to provide the basic needs of your children- balanced meals, clothing, medical care and secure environment to keep your children from potential dangers. Make them feel secure and safe.
Provides education. You are the primary educator of your children. Give your children Christian education as a foundation of life and successful future. Give them sex education or others will teach them wrong things. Teach them ethics so that your children become respectful and honest. Teach them good manners and good relationships.
Guide them in their God-given vocations. God does not make junks but gives every child a talent. By age six, a child would have exhibited the majority of his talents. Help your child to nurture his gift to serve himself, family, church and God faithfully ( 1 Peter 4:10). Luther says you can milk cows and give glory to God .
This means you do not force your children into vocations because it is prestigious or discourage your children who feel called into Religious Life. Teach them how to be disciplined. Children are naturally rebellious. Set child-centered rules and bring them in the instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). Discipline them but do not be harsh with them (Col.3:9). Be humble enough to apologize when you offend them and forgive when they offend you. Pope Francis says without forgiveness you have no peace in your soul and you get disconnected with God.
The attitude of the Catholic father
Be a servant leader. You are a Priest and a Prophet. Lead with sacrifice, confidence, love, gentleness, humility, self-control and dignity. You must be godly to lead. Therefore pursue holiness and have an intimate relationship with God to transmit godly virtues with your children. To be a good father, you must first be a good son of God because your strength to lead comes from God.
Love your children unconditionally. See them as treasures God gave you to bring back to Him in heaven. Always remember that the angels of your children in heaven always see the face of God (Mt. 18:10) to give Him minute by minute unbiased account of your stewardship as a father. Your report better be good!
Make your children your top priority. Make time for them because your time with your children is the most important factor in their holistic development. Play with them and share activities they enjoy. Use such times to understand their needs, temperaments and moods. Be gentle, kind, encouraging and gracious to your children.
Set good examples. Children learn remotely about marriage by the way you love your wife. Studies show that if you show love, your children are likely to show love and enjoy their marriages. If you seek divorce, your children have 75 percent chance of becoming victims of divorce.
Karol Wojtyla lost his mother when he was nine. His father took complete care of him and even shared the same bedroom with his little son. Each morning, Karol woke up to see his father on his knees in deep meditation and prayer. This made a deep impression on his life. He worked hard and prayerfully, he became Pope John Paul 11. Simply put, your children learn more from what you do than what you say.
Your model of fatherhood
Today, with rising indiscipline and economic pressure, fatherhood has become the most difficult work you could do but fatherhood, like worship is forever. Everything Jesus says about discipleship also applies to the father.
Fortunately, St. Joseph gives us light into this vocation of fatherhood. Matt.1:19 describes him as a just man which means one who prays honestly by faith and seeks to do good in every endevour of life. He was prudent, patient and faithful man who gave himself completely to God. With the strength from God, he guided Jesus to grow in stature, wisdom and the fear of God and man ( Lk. 2:52).
In the litany of St. Joseph, we say ‘St. Joseph, head of the family, most just, most chaste, most prudent, most faithful..pray for us’. Say this prayer each day. Fatherhood is therefore an important call to serve God by what you do for your children. God calls you to lead and to lead with joy, delight and love. Live for your children. Lead them in godly ways and do it for the glory of God. Happy Fathers’ Day!
